Me and My Dreamcast
You, your Dreamcast, and an exotic backdrop.
From: Ted DeSpiral
Right after this pic was taken my white shirt got ruined. Grr!
Subject: You won't believe where I've been
You don't know me, as I've never written in before. I read your site everyday, though, even on the weekends. You see, on saturday I like to see if maybe you changed the punctuation on friday's stories, just as a sort of small tribute to your hardcore fans (like me!). I haven't noticed this happen yet, but maybe I just need to look harder. I hoard cheese.
Anyway, the reason I'm writing is that I have this cool picture of me and my Dreamcast hanging out in a very unusual place. You see, my girlfriend and I were bored that day, and just wanted to go somewhere to chill. It was too early to go to a club, and the 7-11? Please -- been there, done that. Then she had a great idea: we could go to Q3DM4! That's one of my favorite deathmatch maps of all time, so I didn't hesitate one second. I pulled down the console, typed in a command, and BAM! There we were, in The Place of Many Deaths. We frolicked for hours, playing gleefully with the shotguns and rocket launchers that spawned every 30 seconds. At one point my gf got the Quad Damage and gave me a playful spank -- I'll be damned if I didn't go flying straight across the room! She was more careful after that, and saved any hanky-panky for Quadless time only.
To get to the Dreamcast part, my gf wanted to take a picture of me from the very top floor. I slid under one of those pulsating tentacle things and grinned up at the camera. Something was missing though... aha! I pulled my Dreamcast out of the secret compartment in my pants, and held it up proudly -- NOW we were ready for some amateur photography. Our fun was cut short, however, when some guy ran up behind Melissa and gibbed her with a railgun. And never mind that there's no railgun on that level! Torrents of blood poured from above, drenching me in the life fluid and tender vittles of my significant other. I screamed in rage, determined to avenge my beloved's demise... but then I stopped and realized something.
I still had my Dreamcast, didn't I? Sure, it was filled with blood and assorted meatlings, but that was nothing that a trip to a Sega Authorized Repair Center wouldn't fix... right? And I still had Crazy Taxi, Soul Calibur, NFL2K1... damn, when I looked at it that way, I had it good. I went up and retrieved her camera; she wouldn't be needing that anymore, I thought with a wry grin. There was no sign of that guy, either. Shrugging, I pulled down the console, loaded home.pk3, and am now writing you this letter.
And there you have it!
From: William Cassidy
Rock out, Judy G!
Subject: Jammin' with Judy
Meets and Greets, PDC!
It's your loyal servant William Cassidy, reporting for duty. Now, I know you're really busy and everything, but I think you'll find this of interest. Attached is a picture of me rocking out with none other than Dorothy herself, Judy Garland! You know, that chick from a little film called The Wizard of Oz? None other, hombre.
I was lucky enough to catch her at her greatest hits concert in 1954. The energy in the air was palpable; the anticipation was so thick I could practically cut it with a spork. Anyway, that was nothing compared to when Judy finally came out on stage, in a hot, sensible house dress and stylish leopard print jacket. After chewing out the crowd ("I'll rock you, and your little bitch too!"), she immediately launched into a hardcore version of Over the Rainbow -- I think it was then that my head exploded. Believe you me, this broad can rock out with the best of them!
I somehow got to the front of the mosh pit, where I and my Dreamcast were thrown repeatedly into the air by the frenzied mob. In fact, that's what you're looking at in the pic -- someone caught me at the peak of my flight, in full headbanging glory. Mondo!
The rest of the show was good, too... hell, she was almost naked by I'm Just Wild About Harry! Still, I think Over the Rainbow was definitely the high point, especially when she vomited blood at the end. That rocked.
Your humble servant,
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