Me and My Dreamcast
You, your Dreamcast, and an exotic backdrop.
It's no secret that PlanetDreamcast's readers are a jet-setting bunch of globe-hopping freaks. Name a place, and odds are we've gotten a letter and pictures from some avid Dreamcast fan, mugging for the camera while clutching their favorite SH4-enhanced box of plastic. However, these piles of e-mail were starting to pile up and gather e-dust, so we decided to actually post the best of these pictures for everyone else to see. So without further ado, we present the first installment of Me and My Dreamcast.
From: Johnny Fab
Word up, fatlands.
Subject: Kickin' it in LV
I love my Dreamcast, and take it with me everywhere. I take it to work, I take it to the gym, I take it to the vet, heck, I even took it to my entertainment center once! Haha, that's a joke! I don't know what it is about the thing -- there's just something about its smooth plastic sheen that I can't get enough of. If you think I'm kidding, ask my wife! Hahaha! (You know I'm kidding, honey.)
Anyway, in the enclosed photograph you can see me kickin' it (as the kids like to say) in Las Vegas. And hey! What's that squarish object in my pasty white clutches? You guessed it, fatlands -- it's my Dreamcast! I tell you, that thing travels so much it probably gets frequent flyer miles... no, seriously. Haha!
Anyway, I thought you'd enjoy the pic -- but hey, not that way! Keep up the great work!
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Next: More readers sound off!
From: Cindy Canker
My pants had caked dry when this picture was taken.
Subject: Did you know they have McDonalds in Japan?
My name's Cindy Canker, and I'm a big fan of your page. It's raining schoolgirl panties right now so I thought I'd take a moment to drop you guys a line. You see, I'm writing to you from Japan. Kyoto, if you want to get technical.
Japan is a pretty cool place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here. Why? Well, have you seen the toilets? They're all robots now -- little gray pod things that scurry about on wheels. I think Sony makes them. They look like a short, skinny version of R2D2, except they're usually full of urine. I don't think R2D2 ever was, except maybe when Kenny Baker had a lot to drink before filming a scene. ANYWAY, the idea is that the bot runs between your legs just when they think you're going to pee. That way, you can continue whatever you were doing at the time with minimal interruption. That's the idea, anyway. It seems that the technology isn't quite perfected yet, so they have a lot of false alarms.
The other night I went out to a popular sushi bar with my friend Hiroshi-san, and those robots were scurrying about like usual. But I must have been giving off the wrong signal or something, because the darn pee-bots rushed me at least five times in the middle of our meal. "Shoo!" I'd say, and give the thing a little kick. But it would just keep looking up at me expectantly, as if it thought I was going to let loose my golden gallons at any moment. The thing was insufferable, running into my leg and repeating its annoying catch phrase over and over -- "Uri no Kawasae! Uri no Kawasae!" At that point I was getting a little embarrassed, so I thought I'd just give in to the 'bot and be done with it.
No sooner did I get things flowing than the little bastard wheeled off, leaving me in a growing puddle of my own excrement! I was mortified, but Hiroshi only smiled. He pointed over to a group of business men, who were watching the scene with keen interest. When one saw me look over, he pulled a 10,000 Yen bill out of his pocket, and waved it lazily at...
(CENSORED! Good lord, I am horrified! -ed.)
... a night I won't forget, believe you me! Oh, and did you know they have McDonalds in Japan? Well, they do. Attached is a pic of me and my Dreamcast, at McDonalds.
Hugs and sushi!